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Posts tagged ‘learning in our own environment’

Finding Our Groove

This morning I walked along a sandy beach just as the sun came up.

I woke up in our warm cocoon of a camper van. Joss was sleeping next to me, her tussled hair and light snoring are two of my favourite things. I could hear the birds chattering, the waves breaking, and the stillness in between. I slid down from our bunk, let out the dog and from the pile of yesterday’s clothes dressed in the muted light peeking underneath the curtains.

The dog and I walked up the beach, watching the waves breaking, the waves lapping, and my feet getting submerged then released, submerged then released.

For what has seemed like forever, this has been a dream. One of those dreams that sits in the back and eats away at you. I have been bored, disenchanted, grumpy, uninspired, and worried about the future of the world.

I recently read the book Beyond Civilisation by Daniel Quinn. I highly recommend it to fellow questioners, despairers, and those wanting to live a different life.

It seems like homeopathy, unschooling, and now living in a camper van for the summer are threads in a cloth of wanting to see positive change, wanting us to do things better, wanting to be aware, conscious, connected to our environment and each other.

Homeopathy is about taking the control of my health out of the hands of people who have never met me but stand to make millions off me, and resting it in my lap.

Spending the summer in a camper van is about busting out of the four walls of our house. Giving our kids access to wide open spaces, to the unique, earthy smell of New Zealand bush, to beaches and rivers and paddocks of waist-high grass.

Unschooling isn’t about not sending our kids to school. It’s about giving them this gigantic world and all it’s possibilities, then mixing it together with their passions and interests and curiosity to see where it all takes us.

All of these things are about getting out from under the gaze of civilisation for a bit. Maybe a lot. Trying to see a way Beyond it. Trying to find the little groove in this record where we sing.

Walking along a sandy beach in the dawn light is definitely the right key.

I found it.

We are parked on the shores of Lake Karapiro and suddenly it seems all worth it. The kids are off playing – Louis has found an old boomerang of Ron’s and is determined to master the use of it. Joss is his “picker-upperer” and is relishing the role. I am in the camper van cooking dinner, listening to their shrieks of delight.

It is quiet.

It is relaxed.

This is what I’ve held in my mind as my end-goal for about six months. This feeling. And now it’s here.

Louis just came in and asked if we could have a bonfire, so now they’ve gone off to find wood for that. They are so happy, and excited, and peaceful.

Looking forward to a summer of this.

How to Get Started

It’s really simple. I have one piece of advice. Take a breath, sit down and prepare yourself.

Here it is.

Act like you’re on holiday.

That’s it. Do that and I promise this whole raising up your kids thing will be a foregone conclusion.

List the things you like to do on holiday.

Then do them.

Ask your kids what they like about going on holiday.

Then do them.

Oh, you’re still wanting some examples? Well, here’s some from my list:

Sleep ins.
Swimming at the beach.
Playing together – uno, last card, catan, guess who.
Listening to music.
Sleep ins.
Lying in the sun.
Reading my book.
Writing.
Using public transport.
Visiting interesting places: museums, cafes with exotic food, old settlement sites, wildlife sanctuaries.
Beach combing.
Going to bed together and smelling the sun in my children’s hair.
Watching movies.
Going somewhere we’ve never been before.
Taking photos.

I asked my kids what they like about going on holiday, and here’s what they said:
Getting ice cream
Wondering where we should go.
Parking somewhere in the bush.
Seeing new cities.
Going to see family.
Going to the beach and having fun
Having fun with lots of people.

That’s all I could get out of them while they were on their screens.

I would hazard a guess that they like going on holiday to spend more time with us doing fun stuff like reading to them, playing cards, swimming with them, biking with them.

There’s something about going on holiday that creates a sense of “team”. Of being on the same one. Of cooperation. There doesn’t seem to be the competition between chores and play, or getting shit done and hanging out.

So, to borrow that Americanism “staycation” – have one of them. Garner a sense of adventure, of relaxation, or excitement, or wonder from the comfort of your own home. Throw bed times out the window. Don’t set your alarm. Let the dishes sit. Wear the same clothes for several days because they’re comfy and practical and mildly clean. Get your nose in a book and let your kids relax on their screens while you read. Binge watch a series on Netflix. Dust off the board games and play them with your partner. Your kids will flock to see what the commotion is. Drink wine. Eat chocolate. Make platters.

Do this until it feels normal.

Welcome to the rest of your life.